Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pale of wine
When they got there
The cupboard was bare
And so the lovers had none
Jack fell down and sat and frowned
And depression came tumbling after
Their plans to dine
Were all but fine
-- What an utter disaster!
And so they went down to the end of the town
As they had decided to barter
With a ball of twine and a no entry sign
the truckers just rolled with laughter
With a cop and a feel
They made a good deal
Of three blind – sheep
-- What the beep?
Or so this is what they had thought
Despite being fooled by a miser,
And all none the wiser
After thinking of what they had bought
They met an old man
With a bright gold sedan
Stark naked and needing some cotton
They stopped to offer
And shook out their coffers
Instead he was hungry for mutton
So, with three bags full
Of - - wiry sheep wool
They swam down the creek, deciding to seek
An elixir from highest heaven
(Luckily for them)
Sold wine in cases of seven.
Jack and Jill went back up the hill
With their large collection
Jack took a pill
Which did anything but chill
His large and growing affection
Too bad he had no aim or direction.
When things had died down
And there were anything but frowns
Both of them’ racked with hunger
They ran on out
Looking for trout
And met a chap called Blade Nzimande
Alongside the ANC,
They drank wine at Chamonix
Singing gaily to Mom,
Forgetting about their alimony
With a stop at Tokara
And Idols judge Mara
They ran all the lights
And missed their flights
All the way down to Asara
On a day so sunny
With a camembert so runny
Good things do not always last
The situation deteriorated - so - fast
They were ambushed by attackers
Cue: the hijackers!
Jack, panicked and screamed
But when considering Jack’s retraction
A far from late reaction
Jill, grabbed a bottle which gleamed
And in their assailants’ defence, with no warning or pretence
She cracked its case, ‘nd sprayed them with mace
The baddies bent double
Their eyes in serious trouble
With Jack and Jill fleeing in the jackers’ High-Ace
Joined by Emmerentia on this adventure
They tried for bubbly, but woe, dementia
The wind was too windy and the road too bendy
And Pinocchio called in absentia
Not feeling the vibe
They rejoined their ANC tribe
-- having a lekker party
Dancing and prancing while waving sosaties And fading the colours of Smarties
But the wine was crucial
Making Julius entertaining as usual
Where else, but at Muratie
Who needs a lover? Why even bother?
When you’ve got one another and wine
With swollen encumbered
And loving remembered
Memories begin to entwine.
And so Jack and Jill
At the top of their hill
Posed in the bright shining light
They toasted each other
And Jack’s mother
And Jill played footsie -- drinking dry white.
And so ends this long, quick limerick
I thought I would kick
Jack - and - Jill -- back up Durbanville Hill.
And after advertising this brand here
To drink their pale in grandeur
But -- decided it wasn’t strategic.
This was something fun I prepared for my class in response to a photo of two mannequins advertising a wine farm. I won a decent bottle of wine for it actually.
I want to be a skipper of gold horizons
Instead, my ship ran aground in the pages of a book
Apricot clouds like ornamental fish
float across my evening panorama
My outstretched grasp flails and retracts
I have nothing to show for it
Assailed by violet winds
My sails cannot catch.
With dusk, a cumulus chorus crescendos
ever deeper centre stage
By this time, there is no more gold,
The sun evades me every time,
Leaving only periwinkle embers
And a green light at the end of the docks.
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